Spring Craving
by Lamia-Kuei
Summary: What if instead of the trope of turian females going into heat, it was the males of the species that get an annual hormonal surge? Garrus stubbornly tries to work through it for the good of the mission. Shepard finds out and insists that they deal with it the traditional way instead. kmeme fill.
1. Chapter 1

Commander Shepard knew very well the prickle of unease that comes from being in someone's crosshairs. It happened enough in battle and happened enough metaphorically as she waded into political waters as a Spectre.

She just didn't particularly expect that warning ping to go off in her mind in the privacy of her cabin on the Normandy.

She swiveled her chair a little at her desk and peered at Garrus over the top of her datapad.

And there it was.

He was simply sitting on her couch while off shift.

Not relaxed, propping his carapace up against the corner pocket formed by the back and arm.

Nope, he was leaning forward, elbows on his knees and his fingers entwined.

Staring at her.

She adjusted her position a little, holding her datapad higher, so that she could continue to look like she was reading, when she was actually watching Garrus watch her through the transparent orange screen.

She actually timed it. He hadn't blinked in five. Full. Minutes.

She hadn't actually seen what he looked like in actual sniper mode; she saw the end results on the battlefield. But not him, not after he found a good perch.

It was actually starting to creep her out.

She put the datapad down.

When she didn't pick another up, Garrus finally blinked.

"You've stopped early," his tone was hopeful.

"Did I?"

"Yes," Garrus nodded decisively. "You usually go on until 2130 at the earliest and sometimes all the way until 2230. It's just 2045 now."

Huh. Okay, that little spiel about her work habits was also creepy.

"Um. I don't know how else to say this. But why do you know all that?" she raises an eyebrow.

She watches his mandibles twitch once, twice, before he stands up, walks over and wordlessly reaches out for her hand, lightly tugging at it.

"Come on," he purrs, changing the subject. "Let's go."

Oh, okay, Shepard thinks. Just a man, being a man, then.

She gives him a smile, moves to get out of her seat, but he's right there; kneeling, nuzzling and licking at her neck, thrumming low and breathing hot. He's unfastening, unzipping, pulling her jacket open and pushing her shirt up out of the way and he simply hikes her bra up over her breasts before cupping them and swiping his tongue over them.

"Oh," Shepard leans back into her chair.

It's good, he's become very good, and just as she starts to reach for him, to caress his neck, he's pulling her zipper down and sticks his hand down her pants. She arches and squirms; he's rubbing his fingers over her underwear lest he catch her with his claws and it's just as good, just as intense, more than just enough- She exhales and nearly tips all the way backward in the chair as he pulls an orgasm right out of her.

"Mmm," she says, and Garrus is lifting her up out of her chair, kissing her, picking her up with a hold around her waist and half-carrying her all the way to her bed.

Well, he's in a hurry, Shepard thinks, as he shucks her out of her pants (it's a very lucky thing that she took her boots off already) and he doesn't even take his own off; he's just unfastened enough and he's on her, in her.

He is actually going to fuck her with all of his clothes on.

She only has time to think that before he starts to move and she moves with him.

He thrums and gasps, chants her name, a mandible tangling in her hair, his grip desperate on her. Shepard hasn't known such urgency from him outside of their bouts immediately after a field op; it's heady.

Yeah, come on- yeah, yeah, like that- FUCK-

Shepard cries out once more while Garrus hisses and chases that high, snatching it by his teeth after her.

She huffs out a breath, rubbing his shoulders. His head is down; he's still tangled in her hair and she can feel that he's still breathing hard. He thrums again, this time the sound edges into a whine and he makes another hitch of his hips while retracting, not done in spite of himself.

They move cautiously; he lifts his head a little so that she can reach in between and start working her locks free.

"Sorry," he murmurs.

"It's okay."

And the way his mandibles flinch once tells here that it isn't entirely so. They are laying side by side now, facing each other. She pulls her bra and shirt down back into place.

"Garrus."

She only has to say his name in that tone once.

"... It's that time of year for me."

And he only has to see how she's not saying anything that she simply doesn't know what he means and that she's giving him the space and time to make it clearer to her.

"Humans don't seem to have it at all. Turian men have a time of year when all the breeding hormones rush up at once. It makes us pretty singleminded."

"Doesn't that affect combat readiness?"

"I can still do my duty."

He's immediately defensive.

"I'm not- Sorry. Rephrasing. How long does this last and how is it usually dealt with?"

"Two weeks, because you can't guarantee synchronization with a female turian's cycle. And. Scheduling leave."

"Two weeks."

"I can still-"

"Our block leave is coming up. I could push it up. Make it happen."

"Okay."

There's still unease in his posture, though.

"What else, Garrus?"

He coughs.

"Uh. There's also the issue with frequency."

"Do tell."

"... Ten? Nine. Um. You're freaking out. Uh-"

"For two weeks, Garrus. Two. There's chafing and then there's CHAFING, you know-"

"You don't have to-"

She tightens her hold on his shoulder and he sees that set in her jaw and the narrowing of her eyes and he knows that she's taken on a whole new mission in her mind and Commander Shepard isn't going to fail. It's all kinds of ridiculous. And hot.

"We're starting now."'

"Now?"

"Now," she nods. "Taking into account morning wood and meal times, we're going to have to allot-"

"Oh, that's good. Logistics. Talk dirty to me some more."

Shepard laughs and reaches down, kneading her fingers at his waist.

It's easier this time, when she starts to kiss him. They get properly all the way out of their clothes and she throws her leg over his hip and he enters her, the both of them still on their sides. He holds onto her and it's a slow sway and grind, he loves the way she rolls her hips on him. He didn't think he'd even get so that he could enjoy going slow during his time. He does, he feels her, hears her, smells her, knows her and he's glad.

"I'll become a compete pest," he murmurs afterwards. "And you need to concentrate."

"Hey, you're my pest. It's worth it."

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

Shepard woke in the morning to the frankly aggravating sensation of being caged by Garrus' arms while he mindlessly rubbed on her, still asleep.

She huffed and then snickered when he actually came from it, making a mess on her lower back and went still, without waking up at all.

"Garrus. Garrus! Wake up, my pest! You've been pesky!"

"...Wha-? Oh. Um."

Shepard laughed and patted his hand.

"Note to self: Towels are required everywhere," she brought one of his hands up, kissing the back of it.

Garrus made a wry huff through his nose before carefully lifting the covers up so that Shepard could get up. He was about to follow her, when she pushed on his shoulder.

"Stay there for a minute, okay?"

She had taken her shirt and was wiping herself with it. When she was done, she clambered back into bed, avoiding the wet spot, and stuck her face onto his groin plates.

"Whoa-" and the rest dissolved into a warble of pleasure as she tongued his groin plates open and he seamlessly slid right out into her mouth. She handled him with such hospitality while his mind was still a little foggy from sleep, her rhythm steady and sure, her hands scratching firmly on his thighs, so that he woke all the way up from a warm and full orgasm.

"Ah," he croons, laying all the way back on the pillows.

Shepard sits up, smiling, moving up to kiss him.

"Better way to start the day, huh?"

"Yep."

"Great."

They went to breakfast and Shepard took extra napkins and stowed them in her pocket. They went about their day.

She discovered that yes, Garrus was a total pest. She'd turn a corner and there he was. Lurking. In sniper mode. The fact that he was even out of the battery during normal shift hours made crewmembers uneasy, to say nothing of that look on his face. He wouldn't say a word to her; that was him respecting that she was on duty herself.

She frankly didn't see why he couldn't have just pinged her on her omnitool so that she'd meet him at a designated time.

That would just be a little too orderly and civilized. He worked until he couldn't concentrate, and then he'd fall back on the instinct to just... stalk her. He did that until she could make excuses and find stolen time for the both of them.

It was awkward as all get out; he was in armor of course and plate chafing was nothing on how now she couldn't get a good hold on him from the slipperiness of his hardsuit, how they were making suddenly deafening scraping noises while figuring out how to get into position, because EVERY hard surface of the Normandy seemed to be engineered for carrying acoustics, and the ever present risk that just maybe, somebody was going to investigate this particular storage closet.

They finally ended up with her braced against a storage shelf, biting onto a thumb of his gauntlet to muffle herself while he rocked into her from behind. There was only his weight on her, the hot breath of his thrumming on the back of her neck, the rub of a mandible on her cheek or ear in the darkness of the storage room.

She strained against him, needing more, just- This angle doesn't give her that-

He spills in her and Shepard makes a subdued sound.

"Hold on," he says and kneels, turning her around so that he can lick at her.

He presses a finger gently, gently at her clit and Shepard's knees go weak and when she comes it feels like hard won victory.

She doesn't think she manage more after the lunch round; the both of them inhaled their food and fucked after.

"You're sore, right?" Garrus asked.

"Yep."

"I can wait until off shift."

"Oh, no, you stop right there, Garrus. This isn't about me, it's about you. I can still suck you."

He makes a distressed sound from his chest and Shepard smiles, holding him.

"Hey. Don't you get all mopey about it. I don't need to come each and every single time. It'll be okay. We have a system."

She looks up at him and he nudges his forehead against hers.

"You're so good to me," he purrs.

Shepard didn't actually think that getting a jaw crick was physically possible. Goes to show what she knew. Garrus had to stutter his way through the explanation to Chakwas because, obviously, Shepard couldn't do the explaining. It was actually a good idea because if he weren't with her in medical bay, he'd probably be trying to burrow into the ducts from mortification.

There was something to be said for British stiff upper lips, because Chakwas rallied a very stiff upper lip to prevent herself from laughing at the whole absurd situation. She gave Shepard some pain killer.

"I don't need to give you orders to not overly exert yourself for the next couple of hours, do I, Commander?"

Shepard shook her head.

"Very well. Carry on."

They parted ways for the rest of their shift.

The good thing about having a minor jaw injury is that you don't have to explain how you got it. The bad thing? No crew could speculate like the Normandy crew.

Oh, well, she shrugged at Garrus. He nodded in silent understanding.

When they get to her cabin after dinner she's on him, maneuvering him onto the couch and unfastening his codpiece. Garrus knew by now that to question her was futile (jaw injury notwithstanding) and spread his legs, hissing as she teased his groin plates with her fingers.

"I got this," Shepard mumbled through her teeth, as he emerged all the way.

She put both her hands on him, and Garrus suddenly realized that they'd never actually done this before; have never tried to just have Shepard's hands on him exclusively. And why- His mind asked fervently as she smoothed all her fingers on him, so many and so soft, why not, this was good too-

She stroked him with one hand and ran the thumb of her other hand over the head in a tight circle, mimicking what she'd do with her tongue, and yes- that's good- that's very very very-

Garrus cries out and spills in her hands. She does it again and again, experimenting with different holds and varying her grip, until he's properly relaxed.

They take a shower together. Afterwards, he rubs her back and hums to her until she falls asleep.

Tomorrow's another day.

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning she grinds back on him, looking at him over her shoulder as he wakes up enough to growl and roll her onto her stomach and enter her. Her jaw still aches a little. She can hear him yawn as he moves, a leisurely rolling pace that feels comforting. He snuffles into her hair. He likes the way she smells first thing in the morning, before she masks her scent with shampoo. He stays in place after he comes.

"Nope, not yet," he rumbles when she moves, keeping her pinned with his keel against her back.

Shepard huffs and brushes her hair out of her face.

"I was just getting warmed up," Garrus licks the back of her neck. "... Actually, if you could just wiggle a bit more, that would be very helpful- Mmm, that's right-"

"... Once I free myself," Shepard mumbles as she continues to struggle on principle. "Rue and regret shall be your lot."

"Threats, delicious threats, you're so good at this- Oh, that feels nice- Cushy, cushy human-"

Shepard haphazardly flops her hand backwards and pinches his side.

Garrus hisses and flinches away, enough so that she makes a triumphant noise and starts to rise from bed.

"I said, not yet," Garrus hooks a leg around hers, while reaching out, cupping a hand over a breast and squeezing.

Shepard makes an undignified squeal and he reels her back in.

"Now, because I'm so generous," Garrus ignores Shepard's eyerolling, punctuating his words with repeated squeezes to her breast. He knows that it annoys her mightily to have her boob honked. That's why he does it. "I will hurry up, so you can get out of bed."

He rises up enough to guide himself in and lets go of her after giving her breast one more completely silly honk, taking hold of her hips and begins rocking.

"Too early in the morning for your- your silliness!" Shepard manages as she opens her legs further.

"Look who's grouchy before coffee," Garrus' mandibles flare into a grin.

Shepard makes a rude gesture, before closing her eyes and arching.

Garrus croons and moves to placate her, smoothing his palm along her side and onto her breast again, this time passing the pads of his fingers over a nipple, while licking at her neck.

"Better?"

Shepard moans, holding on to his shoulders.

"Thought so."

He's got his angle right and he's working that pace that drives her out of her mind, so Shepard goes into that moment, holding on, feeling that press and slide. He hears her breath hitch, reads the change in her grip, and his mandibles flare again.

"Go on, do it, you look so good when you do."

And she does.

Garrus croons again after, smoothing his palms on her hips before letting her up.

"Pesky pest," Shepard yawns, sitting up.

Her eyes widen for a moment.

"... Oh."

"What is it?" Garrus asks, concerned that he's managed to hurt her some other way, somehow.

"You know, I think I've discovered the true sustainable renewable resource of the universe. Turian cum. It's never ending," Shepard is very still. "always in supply."

"Aaargh," Garrus mutters, covering his eyes with a hand.

"... Towel. Now. I'm trying, but it's just leaking right out-"

Garrus goes to get a towel.

"Get two," Shepard advises, laughing. "One might not be enough to contain the flood!"

"That's not funny!"

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

By the time Shepard was speaking with the projection of Admiral Hackett, she was very ready for block leave, thanks. It was just the way it was; Garrus was trying very much to be unobtrusive about his overwhelming urges. However, the result of it was that Donnelly found him in the ducts, watching Shepard through ventilation openings. That was the last straw. She very firmly told Admiral Hackett that she and Garrus at the least were going to have time off the Normandy, if full block leave was not possible. And if he had any questions about whether or not it was sound military practice, to direct his questions to one Primarch Victus.

Adrien, incidentally, was downright scandalized that Garrus hadn't told anybody in the Alliance about his time nor made the very necessary scheduled leave. On his end he'd already let it be known to the Hierarchy at large that the Reaper Advisor was in his Seclusion. Shepard didn't know what to make of the fact that all the more important turians of certain rank in the Hierarchy now knew that Garrus was out of commission because all he could think about was getting laid. Didn't seem dignified.

"Why wouldn't it be? It happens to everybody," Garrus shrugged. "A system is in place for others to pick up slack for the duration."

Shepard supposed that was very true.

She was then taken aback by how literally Primarch Victus (and every other turian) meant when he'd stated that Garrus was in Seclusion. They only just got settled into her apartment on the Citadel when Garrus was contacted by an actual dedicated delivery service on what supplies he'd like. He'd even asked what she'd like for meals. Apparently, he wasn't expected to even leave the building.

"I already asked for ointment for you, for the chafing," he'd conscientiously stated.

Shepard flushed with embarrassment.

"Did you ask for buckets of lube too?"she'd asked sarcastically.

"... Hmm. Tubes of it, that's more manageable than a bucket," he'd serenely replied.

"Cripes."

"Seriously, I didn't know what to ask for besides the three different pasta dishes you regularly get from mess. Carbs are all well and good, but I thought you'd get bored."

"What can they get me?"

Garrus guided her over to the console. Shepard sat down and started scrolling through.

The doorbell rang.

"What in the spirits-" Garrus actually growled suspiciously, going to the door with his rifle.

"Shepard," he called out shortly after. "Do you actually know a Matriarch Aethyta?"

"Yeah, why? Is that her?"

The door slid shut and Garrus returned to the living room, holding a box.

"No, just a present."

Garrus played back the recorded message on the packing slip. Aethyta's gravelly voice rang out.

"Shepard. I heard from reliable sources that you got yourself a turian in season."

"Oh, I'm going to get Liara good this time," Shepard muttered with exasperation.

"I just thought to myself, she doesn't have anybody who knows what's what to give her guidance," Aethyta continued. "So I thought I'd pass on what I learned on how to deal with my late husband. The turian one. Obviously you don't need to know what I learned for my other husbands. Have fun, you crazy kids."

"I'm holding a box of sex toys assembled by an asari matriarch, aren't I? This is the best day of my life," Garrus eagerly shook the box a little.

tbc


	5. Chapter 5

So they opened the box after Shepard completed her meal preferences. Shepard didn't know about Garrus, but she herself didn't have much clue about sex toys beyond knowing what vibrators and dildos were. In a way, Shepard was grateful for Aethyta's labeling and written instructions.

"Plan for inevitable vaginal soreness by having your butt on standby," Garrus read out loud before bursting into laughter.

"She's really blunt."

"Oh, look, it's all decorative, even! Very asari. It's butt jewelry," Garrus held the butt plug out to her.

He laughed some more at Shepard's ginger handling of it. The plug was small (Aethyta clearly assumed Shepard was an anal beginner. How she came to that conclusion was best left unexplored), made out of smooth metal and yes, there was an actual faceted gem mounted to the handle of it.

"Garrus, have you ever done anal?" Shepard asked. "Is that actually a thing?"

"It doesn't get to the point of 'vaginal soreness' for turian women because it's just the way things are with us," Garrus scratched the back of his neck. "I mean, it'd be stupid of evolution to have this happen and not have conception because it's in a lady's butt, right?"

"Do turians even do anal," Shepard tried again.

"Oh. Yeah. Sure. I never got to. Wasn't to any of my past partners' tastes, I guess."

Shepard sensed that it was all up to her; Garrus could take it or leave it. It was either that or he was just too amused by her embarrassment to be serious.

"Okay, then. I'll try it. Next."

"What can I say?" Garrus read. "Nipple clamps. Wait. What?"

"Let me see," Shepard reached for the little package and opened it. "Huh. Adjustable and they vibrate."

"... Doesn't that hurt-"

"Just so that they stay on, Garrus. While they vibrate."

Garrus thought on it.

"Sounds awesome."

"Yep, it does," Shepard agreed. "More awesome than the butt plug, at least."

The next thing they pulled out was an asari pole dancing bodysuit.

"That had better not be hers," Shepard sputtered.

Garrus was just sitting, looking at it, mandibles twitching, not making a sound. Shepard made a good natured sigh.

"All right, I'll put it on."

"Yaaaay," he finally replied.

He leans into her, nuzzling her.

"Now? How about now?" he chirps.

"Why the hell not?"

Shepard wonders what kinds of renter's insurance the Alliance has on this apartment. Because she's pretty sure it would need to be a very comprehensive one to take care of the mess they were making with the drywall.

She wasn't going to pole dance (lack of appropriate pole was part of it, the other part was that she'd probably hurt herself in some manner that would actually cause Chakwas to laugh, and they weren't going to risk that kind of dignity destruction), so by some bizarre path of logic they decided that she could 'get into character' by using her biotics.

That was why Garrus was leaving claw marks on the ceilings and walls when he got caught by her Pull, even as gentle as she could make it. He was laughing hysterically like he was on an amusement park ride when he couldn't evade them. When he'd land on his feet again he'd resume chasing after her through the apartment.

Shepard thought she looked ridiculous; her ass was hanging out, the outfit didn't have any meaningful support for her boobs for the purpose of running, (though they did make for some impressive cleavage) and slick skimpiness of the material left her feeling vulnerable compared to the comforting heft of her armor.

"Ready to give up yet?" Shepard called out from behind a corner.

There was nothing but silence. She exhales and throws out a Pull as she rounds the corner. She ends up catching a perfectly innocuous chair that he lobs at her and Garrus is on her, bowling her over onto the floor. He's thrumming as they wrestle and he actually smacks her on the ass. Shepard squeals but doesn't respond with a punch to his face while they're rolling and squirming; Shepard taking advantage of the slipperiness of her bodysuit as she tried to get free of him and Garrus peppering her exposed ass when he can, so that he can hear her cry out.

They end up fucking on the couch, with her bent over and her ass in the air, reddened from his hits.

They finish just in time for the arrival of their delivered meals.

tbc


	6. Chapter 6

They went on, finding restraints for the both of them, gags, blindfolds, (Garrus dryly noted that Aethyta's late turian husband must have been quite the character) more things for insertion, for the both of them, and then at the bottom of the box, another, smaller box labeled 'For When You Need A Break'.

"That. I don't like the sound of that," Garrus handed the box to Shepard.

She opened it and took out the note.

"When you want a couple hours of reprieve, strap your turian down at all limbs, loosen the groin plates by the usual methods, jam this sucker in and switch it to high. He'll pop off like a champagne cork and you keep it in place until he's good and unconscious. It'll take about eight hours before he wakes back up," Shepard reads. "... Huh."

Garrus was making a whine that was equal parts alarm and desire.

Shepard took out a slim, wand-like, exotically molded vibrator.

"... Where am I supposed to put this? Your ass?"

She switched it on and put her fingers to the tip, testing the intensity.

"...Uh, no, it's, uh, skinny enough to fit in the other place," Garrus stuttered. "Um. That sounds really intense."

"What other- You can put things in there!?" Shepard looked perplexed.

"There's enough room. C-Sec has records of criminals caught with contraband inside. Trying to smuggle in past the scanners."

Shepard and Garrus continued to look at the vibrator as it buzzed in her hand.

"What if I don't do it until you're unconscious?"

"Good plan. I'll get the restraints."

Shepard just makes a show of rubbing her hands together in anticipation. Garrus is undressed and spread eagled on the bed, secured by his wrists and ankles.

"I just want to say now that you've got me like this that you don't actually need to jam it into me. It sounds much more forceful than necessary."

"So. Say you're actually a bad turian and you're smuggling junk with your junk. You ping the system, you get hauled in. What's the C-Sec procedure on cavity searches?"

"I'd rather that you don't do the C-Sec procedure because it's not pleasurable in any way on principle. Keeps things aboveboard because it's cold, there's surgical gloves and forceps, and the person doing it is a salarian. You know, so that's not construed sexually."

Shepard pouted upon hearing the details.

"Oh. Okay. How do you do it if you want it construed sexually?"

"I'm currently at the mercy of a lady from a slim-fingered species," Garrus waggles his browplates at her. "With no claws."

tbc


	7. Chapter 7

Shepard smiles and gets up on her knees, leaning over him and kissing him. They make out and Shepard settles in, liking how Garrus can't flip her into position sooner than she'd like now that he's tied up. She pets the soft hide of his neck and his mandibles move in breathless, silent entreaty. She checks and sees that he's ready.

She sits back and rubs at the base of his cock and Garrus moans. She starts exploring the parted seam, trying to find where there was space and Garrus exhales, and she can actually see movement around the groin plates as he tries to open up more for her.

"The underside, do it slow, you can get your finger in that way."

It's tight and Shepard watches Garrus for any reaction. Nothing so far, which is good, so she eases her whole forefinger in.

"So you can put stuff in here," Shepard finally says, as she makes exploratory strokes with her finger. "How's that feel?"

"Just okay. I don't know what she found that's supposed to knock me out, but I'm trusting the asari matriarch's expertise."

Shepard lubes up the vibrator and eases it in. She asks if she can go deeper inch by inch until the both of them dare no further. Shepard activates it at first setting.

"Whoa. Whoa, that's weird," Garrus' hips jump and his cock twitches.

Well, that's just underwhelming, so Shepard moves it up one more intensity.

"Oh-" Garrus struggles to keep his voice down and he starts to fight the restraints.

"Dance, my pretty!" Shepard cackles.

Garrus growls but he can't keep still, he's humping the air, his cock leaking precum, and his thrumming is counterpoint to the panting gasps and moans that roll out of him.

"Should- Should've put me in the gag too-" he manages.

Their gazes lock and they both know without saying exactly what Shepard was going to do and Garrus was all for it.

Shepard clicks it to high and Garrus yells, long and loud and clear, his body jerking hard against the restraints. The vibrator has him pinned, a blinding locus of sensation and he can't even describe how it feels to have an orgasm building so rapidly from his insides out. Every single one of his nerve endings ready to stand up and testify in court that they couldn't hold the line, and it hit him like a reave, split him from end to end in a rush of joyously howling endorphins. He didn't even register that he was shrieking and howling with them.

And then, when his cock withdrew inside because it had to, pulling back all the way only made it so that the whole of it was pressed against the vibrator and it was simply too much, too soon, he's coming again- OHSPIRITS-

Shepard had the presence of mind to switch the thing off before Garrus was truly trapped into that cycle of orgasming into unconsciousness.

"She wasn't kidding about the popped off champagne bottle part," Shepard observed. "Like a geyser."

Garrus blinked, jaw working silently, trying to reboot his brain.

Shepard went to get a towel to clean him off after pulling the vibrator out. She undid the restraints and Garrus' movements were slow as he shifted into a sitting position against the pillows.

"... You're going to have your break," Garrus finally said. "It's like I'm liquefied. I really can't do anything."

tbc


	8. Chapter 8

Shepard took the time to bring the whole box into the bedroom. Garrus was composing a thank you letter for Aethyta.

Shepard felt that now was a good time to try out one of her new vibrators. So Garrus got front row seats to the Shepard Gets Herself Off show. She was wriggling and learning which settings were best and making all sorts of noises.

"For fairness' sake, we should tie you up," Garrus suggested.

"After this round. Wow, seriously, why didn't they issue these as part of the standard kit?"

"Standard human prudery?"

Any reply that Shepard might've made was drowned out by the buzzing. She put herself into what looked like an uncomfortable position; her head dangling off the edge of the bed, her hips undulating in the air while she rose on the balls of her feet.

"Oh, yeah, the rush to my head is just- whooooSHIT-"

Garrus reached out and took an anchoring hold of her ankle, to prevent her from slipping all the way off the bed. Shepard made a sated laugh, as Garrus lifted her into place and positioned her so that he could start tying her up. He looked down at her, brushing locks of hair out of her face.

"... You know, I'm still..." Garrus made an experimental roll of his hips and he didn't emerge. "Yep. It's still knocked out. Heh. Guess what."

"Oh, boy. What are you going to do?"

"Tickle Time!"

"MOTHERFUCKER-!"

Now this, Garrus thought, was entertainment. Shepard was going red in the face, her teeth were bared as she alternately cursed and laughed, and her breasts were bouncing all over the place as she twisted and contorted, trying to get away from him. He paused and she scowled at him.

"This is what I get for keeping you awake, huh?"

"... Yeah," Garrus chuckled smugly.

He looked at the box, his mandibles twitching meditatively before he retrieved the nipple clamps.

"Well, okay, that's more like it," Shepard amended.

He put them on after readying her with prolonged attention from his tongue.

"How's that?" he asked. "Turn them on now?"

"Go ahead."

Shepard broke out with giggles at the sensations.

"This is totally working for me. Now I just need to stop laughing-"

"But I like how you sound when you laugh."

"In the middle of sex?"

Garrus shrugged.

"... And we are learning all sorts of kinks we have, aren't we?"

"It's not a kink, you just sound nice, that's all."

"Yeah, and I won't find a subscription to Turian Tickle Fetish Magazine in the battery, will I-" Shepard grins.

"There is no such thing-"

"Because you looked for it for subscription purposes, I'm onto yoooou, Garrus-"

"You'll stop talking once I start fucking you."

"Yeah, and when are you going to start-"

Shepard laughed in triumph when Garrus didn't try to hide his aggravated mandible clench. And then he growled and made the rolling of his hips that preceded emergence.

We're probably going to have to see a psychiatrist about why it turns the both of us on to annoy the shit out of each other, Shepard thinks.

And then Garrus plunges in and starts a punishing pace.

Or not, Shepard amends. The reasons are perfectly clear.

She can't move, she's got vibrations centered on her nipples and Garrus is pounding her out. Life is beautiful and Shepard sings out fantastic.

"Life in the galaxy is varied and mysterious," Shepard sighed, while Garrus undid her bindings and rubbed ointment on her. "Evolution is one big crapshoot."

"Whatever works," Garrus nods.

"Nobody would get any work done if they weren't turians and had to go through this."

"Salarians would."

"Don't the males outnumber females almost 40 to 1?"

"... Point. That would be pretty frustrating and then there would be mayhem and murder."

"Hanar."

"... This one's going to enkindle the shit out of you."

"Ha ha ha!"

"Does a woman like it when this one does this?"

"What are you-"

"Is this one pleasing a woman when this one does it like this?"

"Garrus- Oh-"

"This one likes that a woman can't really talk right now."

"...Aaah! You- FUCK!"

"A woman uses profanity. This one must be good."

"Ha ha ha- Oh FUCKFUCKFUCK-"

…

…

…

…

"... Okay."

"... Yeah."

"How did that happen? How did you manage to make third-person politeness hot? What manner of turian space magic is this?"

"Can't think. Kind of in the middle of the afterglow, here."

"Ass."

"Love you too."

By the time Garrus is well and over his Seclusion, the apartment looked like the aftermath of a rockstar's bender. They'd put in more holes into the drywall, there were puddles of lube in odd places, there were levo and dextro chocolate smears on the kitchen counter, and the whole place smelled like turian cum.

Incidentally, it wasn't an unpleasant smell, being sweet. Garrus was just never going to hear the end of how Eau de Turian Love Stain was going to be next big perfume hit, if you just add in notes of vanilla and a robust floral like gardenia or jasmine for oomph. Shepard was rolling as she pretended to be a fashionable lady; 'Oh, you like the scent I'm wearing? I know, it's just divine, darling. It's new-new and just too-too! What is it? I'm covered in Turian Love Stain-' 'AAAARGH!'

"I had fun," Shepard concluded as they walked towards the shuttle that would take them to where the Normandy was waiting for them.

"Good to know," Garrus deadpanned.

"Seriously. It's fun. And now that I know, we'll plan better for the next times."

She's looking up at him with such sincerity and openness that Garrus could only stop in the middle of the street, holding onto her shoulder and nudging his forehead into hers and holding still, despite being in public.

"All the next times," he murmurs. "I promise you'll know beforehand."

Shepard just gives him a silent, radiant smile, before they walk on.

finis


End file.
